Breathing more simply, part 1: An online cleanse

Photo by Flickr user binarydreams

I'm starting a new and fairly extensive project in June. I've long been fascinated with the concept of minimalism as a self-improvement tool.

This is something I've thought about, and even done partially in fits and starts, for a little while now, but I've never really focused on a massive, methodical, gradual overhaul of the way I relate to physical, mental, and digital clutter. In fact, my escapist nature appealed greatly to the amount of time I could hide in Twitter, Reddit threads, and other places where I could throw myself into a Cause, or see someone even more down-and-out than me seeking advice. There'd be intermittent periods where I'd put the phone down to get back onto another meditation kick, or attend a festival - but these were moments where I had nothing to escape. When sick or bored, the Web was a wide and appealing escape-portal. I was its willing traveler.

I knew, in the niggling back corner of my brain, that I had some issues with it. I tend toward obsessive or addictive behaviors, at least in the short term. I'll latch onto a type of tea, a person, a game, a comfort food, an activity, a show...

This is part of why I never got on board with trying "substances," shall we say. They have been, and are, widely and easily available in my social circles, but my escapist state of mind was never something I'd want to tempt with such. Ritualistic, escapist, pleasure-seeking behaviors are a path down which there lie dragons. It's hard enough to avoid that road when you aren't involving chemical dependence. (Now, where'd I put my caffeine-loaded cup of hot tea...)

Then something happened. I started dating the only person I've ever been attracted to, who actually had his shit together. Then we moved in together. His primary Love Language is quality time, whereas mine tends to be physical touch. I could snuggle on the couch with him and text my friends, or play Word Cross or Candy Blast, or whatever game, and think I was doing just fine. However, my mind wasn't present with him, and this caused him distress. This caused more fights than I care to admit. I needed "down-time," and since we moved in, all my friends live 2 or more hours away. I have a little window right there in my pocket where I can check on them. It hurt me so much that I hurt him, though. So I deleted the phone games. I dealt with the withdrawal symptoms (Those are really a thing!)

Withdrawal symptoms from smartphone addiction

A common warning sign of smartphone or Internet addiction is experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you try to cut back on your smartphone use. These may include:

• Restlessness
• Anger or irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Sleep problems
• Craving access to your smartphone or other device

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm

I started working more actively on ways to get myself the moments of personal space I need, while leaving time for the quality interaction he needs. Some things still need rearranging, practice, and strategy, but it's improving. Additionally, checking my friends' Facebook, or an occasional disconnected text, isn't much of a way to stay connected. We can do better! I could also stand to socialize more in-person, in my new neighborhood.

In addition to spending less time online, I also want to increase efficiency, so it's a lower-stress experience and I can get everything I need done. Eventually, the plan is to set specific blocks of time aside to take care of blogging, social media catch-up with friends, and any other online tasks.

So far, I have cleaned up my blog reader feed to only publications that are within my current interest, streamlined my Pinterest boards a bit (there's more improvement needed, though,) unsubscribed from extraneous or negativity-fixated subreddits, and started unsubscribing from junk/old subscription emails as they come in, rather than just deleting them.

Tasks for this week's online cleanse include:

• clean up my follows on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter to make it manageable to read and catch up within minutes, not hours
• delete my embarrassingly large backlog of emails, and implement folders where needed (such as my Yummly emails, which are welcome - but not always something I can get to right when the email sends!)
• tinker with time-blocks until I find something that works for me and my quality time with David.

This is just one phase of a gradual clean-up to improve life in general. The agenda for the late spring/summer is formidable:

•  General possessions - unboxing things from the move, losing things I no longer use/need, tackling clutter-spots and piles on surfaces in the home
• mental busy-ness - meditation and daily walks. David and I have been taking walks around the neighborhood around twilight together, and I've really been enjoying this! Yoga can also fit into this category
• clothing - cutting down to things I love and storing in better ways - keeping in mind that there are things I'll be shrinking out of/into
• compulsive shopping/wish app as well as IRL - need to 'buy something'/spend money for fun
• hygeine products - I do pretty well on not cluttering up shelves in the shower. We have some Ikea storage solutions we need to move our things into, and I'm sure there's makeup I don't use enough to justify keeping
• The Lady Cave - I'm working on putting together my own exercise/reading/meditation room downstairs. Seeing my vision through to completion of a relaxing space
• - daily routine: For example, sleeping in through Snooze button rather than using that extra 20 minutes to fit in some yoga/meditation/flexibility exercises
• - incorporating some zero-waste concepts such as the felt dryer balls instead of dryer sheets, maybe a biodegradable toothbrush on the next buy. Cutting WAY down on the plastic shopping bags. More sustainability. We already don't generate much waste, but we can still improve