Daywalker Dressing: look the part

Have you ever just been so Damn Over It? I've kind of felt like Sisyphus all week. Sometimes you just swallow the scream, and smile and nod. Looking professional enough on the outside helps protect the cash flow 'til the workflow feels natural again. Maybe it's just the weather. My anxiety has just been on a spike lately, and it leaves me feeling too tired to write, and frankly kind of mean but with few outlets. I don't know where the good karaoke spots are in this town, but I have a mighty need.

At least I look fresh and profesh and manage not to throw the TPS report at anyone. Or break any printers.

The good days will come again.

Gray sweater: Gap, thrifted
Bow blouse: thrifted
Pull-on pants: 212 Collection at Kohl's

Sometimes a breakthrough looks like a breakdown, part 3: The first wolf

Content notes for emotional abuse, threats, sexual coercion, and mention of physical abuse. Out of necessity, I've broken things down into smaller pieces than I was going to. The depression is somewhat improved from this time last week, but I'm still dragging ass -- And strangely enough, talking about past traumas doesn't make me feel any less tired! I lack the energy or emotional fortitude to speak about 3 different abusers today. It is necessary, though, that I speak of at least one. I hope someone, somewhere, sees the flags earlier and avoids going down this road -- or recognizes themselves and finds the resources to leave. 

He had the most devilish grin -- My mom hated him. So, of course, I adored him. It was the early 2000's, and we lived in rural Indiana, so of course everyone our age was into nu-metal. He dressed sort of like he was in one of those bands. He was moody to match, and he had that certain early-oughts porcupine hair; surely you remember it. (None of…

Bat's Top Five: 5 Blogs I Highly Recommend In 2019

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Happy Wednesday, y'all!

During my unintended hiatus last week, I caught up on a little reading. So at least I feel like I accomplished something. Besides polishing off another chapter of crone archetypes for the winter season, I caught up on some of my favorite bloggers that I've recently followed. I'm pleased to say it was very difficult to narrow it down to five!

1. And She Stumbled Down The Rabid Hole
She blogs about several things, including a variety of musical interests, horror and macabre aesthetics, and fashion - especially gothic spins on eco-fashion.

A favorite post: DIY Cotton Pads (black, of course)

Whenever I apply or wash off my makeup I use cotton pads. Almost every day. I came across the idea of making your own pads out of old clothes/other fa…


Guess what! I'm mildly depressed -- And I'm happy about it!

I wasn't happy about it when I couldn't figure out what the malaise was for the last couple of weeks that made it damn near impossible to write and keep up on my blog schedule. David was supportive - If you need a break, you need a break, he said. I'm me, though, so I saw it as an unacceptable setback. I asked my shrink what the hell was wrong with me - why am I tired all the time again, but not in a way that it seems like any sleep will help? Why does it feel like it's right in my bones and my soul?

"You're depressed," she said.

What? No, that's not what this is. I'm not struggling at work. I'm not missing any work. I'm not bursting into tears at random, sleeping an entire day, or drinking any whole bottles of wine by myself. I'm mostly functioning -- I'm just annoyed about it.

Wait. WOW. I am depressed! It's just that I hadn't had an episode in almost a …

This is 34, and we have a winner!

Hey y'all! I made it to 34! My love gave me a cupcake and then fixed breakfast for me, him, and Bonus Kid. It's icy out, so we're having a delightfully lazy day in. I'm just watching bad sci-fi while working to schedule some posts for next week. Bonus Kid is playing games in his room, and David is making the kitchen smell amazing, because I asked for stew with plenty of potatoes for dinner.

That's not what you're looking for, is it. You wanna know who got the goods in the birthday drawing.

Congratulations, Jessica Love!

Jessica! You're getting the latest Dead Can Dance CD, Dionysis! Please send the Facebook page a message letting me know if you'd like this in the mail or email, and which address or email address to send it to. Thanks so much for liking the page on Facebook.
Thanks to everyone who participated in the very first drawing we've ever done! Please be on the lookout for future promotions.

Sometimes a breakthrough looks like a breakdown, part 2: We accept the love we think we deserve.

I started this series in 2017 on a blog I don't even write anymore, then brought it here in May of 2018, intending to finish the second and third parts. And there it sat. I couldn't figure out why I was so blocked on trying to write the next chapters.

And then September happened. And then the New Year's proposal from David happened, and there was my answer: I couldn't write the story, because it hadn't concluded yet. It's time. This series will continue every other Friday until its conclusion.

Click For Part One

Pretty much all my life, I accepted a crappy excuse for love because I didn't viscerally know, within and without, that I deserved better and could do better. That was step 1. It took over 25 years.

You can say you know something, or believe something. But if it isn't written onto your heart, your heart will betray you in every test, every time.

I was deeply traumatized by two events in quick succession: The tornado of 1990 ripped apart the entire …

Huzzah, first milestone met! Someone's getting some free music!

I said I'm going to give away some Dead Can Dance if we hit 100 likes on the Facebook page, and I meant it! Yesterday, we busted through that goal. And if we get to 200 in the next 10 days, I'll give away two copies! The drawing will be on my birthday, January 19.

To stay first in line for updates on the blog -- Including future giveaways and special offerings! -- click here to subscribe. Thanks for being here from the beginning as I work to build a fun and empowered community here!