Granola Bat

Content notes for emotional abuse, threats, sexual coercion, and mention of physical abuse. Out of necessity, I've broken things down into smaller pieces than I was going to. The depression is somewhat improved from this time last week, but I'm still dragging ass -- And strangely enough, talking about past traumas doesn't make me feel any less tired! I lack the energy or emotional fortitude to speak about 3 different abusers today. It is necessary, though, that I speak of at least one. I hope someone, somewhere, sees the flags earlier and avoids going down this road -- or recognizes themselves and finds the resources to leave.  He had the most devilish grin -- My mom hated him. So, of course, I adored him. It was the early 2000's, and we lived in rural Indiana, so of course everyone our age was into nu-metal. He dressed sort of like he was in one of those bands. He was moody to match, and he had that certain early-oughts porcupine hair; surely you remember it. (None o...

The Crone, photo by Fuzzcat This post contains an affiliate link to a book. If you click on a link and make a purchase, I may receive compensation. It's my continuing promise to never, ever recommend anything that I don't personally love. Happy Wednesday, y'all! During my unintended hiatus last week, I caught up on a little reading. So at least I feel like I accomplished something . Besides polishing off another chapter of crone archetypes for the winter season , I caught up on some of my favorite bloggers that I've recently followed. I'm pleased to say it was very difficult to narrow it down to five! 1. And She Stumbled Down The Rabid Hole She blogs about several things, including a variety of musical interests, horror and macabre aesthetics, and fashion - especially gothic spins on eco-fashion. A favorite post: DIY Cotton Pads (black, of course) Whenever I apply or wash off my makeup I use cotton pads. Almost every day. I came across the idea of ...

I haven't taken any full outfit photos lately, so here are some pieces. Boots with leggings were in the uniform. This was Friday the 11th. Guess what! I'm mildly depressed -- And I'm happy about it! I wasn't happy about it when I couldn't figure out what the malaise was for the last couple of weeks that made it damn near impossible to write and keep up on my blog schedule. David was supportive - If you need a break, you need a break, he said. I'm me, though, so I saw it as an unacceptable setback. I asked my shrink what the hell was wrong with me - why am I tired all the time again, but not in a way that it seems like any sleep will help? Why does it feel like it's right in my bones and my soul? "You're depressed," she said. What? No, that's not what this is. I'm not struggling at work. I'm not missing any work. I'm not bursting into tears at random, sleeping an entire day, or drinking any whole bottles of wine by m...

Hey y'all! I made it to 34! My love gave me a cupcake and then fixed breakfast for me, him, and Bonus Kid. It's icy out, so we're having a delightfully lazy day in. I'm just watching bad sci-fi while working to schedule some posts for next week. Bonus Kid is playing games in his room, and David is making the kitchen smell amazing, because I asked for stew with plenty of potatoes for dinner. That's not what you're looking for, is it. You wanna know who got the goods in the birthday drawing . Congratulations, Jessica Love! Jessica! You're getting the latest Dead Can Dance CD, Dionysis! Please send the Facebook page a message letting me know if you'd like this in the mail or email, and which address or email address to send it to. Thanks so much for liking the page on Facebook. Thanks to everyone who participated in the very first drawing we've ever done! Please be on the lookout for future promotions. 

I started this series in 2017 on a blog I don't even write anymore , then brought it here in May of 2018, intending to finish the second and third parts. And there it sat. I couldn't figure out why I was so blocked on trying to write the next chapters. And then September happened. And then the New Year's proposal from David happened, and there was my answer: I couldn't write the story, because it hadn't concluded yet. It's time. This series will continue every other Friday until its conclusion. Click For Part One Pretty much all my life, I accepted a crappy excuse for love because I didn't  viscerally  know, within and without, that I deserved better and could do better. That was step 1. It took over 25 years. You can say you know something, or believe something. But if it isn't written onto your heart, your heart will betray you in every test, every time. I was deeply traumatized by two events in quick succession: The tornado of 1990  ri...

I said I'm going to give away some Dead Can Dance if we hit 100 likes on the Facebook page , and I meant it! Yesterday, we busted through that goal. And if we get to 200 in the next 10 days, I'll give away two copies! The drawing will be on my birthday, January 19. To stay first in line for updates on the blog -- Including future giveaways and special offerings! -- click here to subscribe. Thanks for being here from the beginning as I work to build a fun and empowered community here! 🖤🦇🖤 LC

I seem to be making a habit of photographing my casual-Friday outfits. The increased leeway on a Friday is fun to play in - and it's different for me than for most of the office, since I rarely wear jeans, or even pants. Dresses are more comfortable to me. How do you increase the comfort-level on a casual Friday when you're already not wearing pants? You get to incorporate some graphic T's, or even a sweatshirt, if it's elevated. Playing with soft textures is a treat. And you don't care quite so much about your bun being perfect - especially when a cute silk scarf will distract or cover up a bump or stray hair. Depending on the workplace, some legwarmers may be welcome on a cold day. I've had a love-hate relationship with the things, but I just got the best pair , and I cannot stop wearing them. They're so soft, and they stretch enough to go over my thick thighs, but they stay in place. They've held up very well to me wearing them almost constantly a...

“Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.” ― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, I may receive compensation. Getting back into a routine after a bunch of holidays and a surgery is so fun! (Narrator voice: It was not fun at all.) I do like to share reading lists - articles, posts from fellow bloggers, poems, and books. I unfortunately got out of the habit. Let's fix that. The Closet Feminist: Best Of Self Help   This is a little bit of a misnomer - most of the books listed are memoirs, but TCF has noted they help somethng in the inner self - and broken them down into sections depending on what ails you. Burned-out activist? There's books for that. Need to laugh? There's a book for that. Just feeling off and need comfort or enc...

(content note: flashing image - don't proceed if you have a seizure disorder that may be triggered.) This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, I may receive compensation. What a great beginning to the year it's all ready been! Dears, I have news that probably surprises absolutely nobody: We got engaged during New Years! Not quite so cliche' as during Christmas, and who'd care anyway? The ring is picked, but is expected to take a month to order in - so I'm going to be counting the days 'til I can show that beauty off! I don't really care about the ring, though - I care about the man. He surprised me with the absolutely sweetest card: BRB, crying forever. He hates to write, y'all. He dislikes it about as much as I enjoy it. But he knows it's something important to me and a means of communication that deeply speaks to me, so that's how he chose to propose. And I think he did a great job. Needless to sa...