The mess is part of the process.


If you want to know a weird learning curve, try being in love with someone who's a lot more fastidious than you.

I'm not even getting into how physically-messy things got, pre-David, mid-depression. Here's your gentle reminder of the day that an embarassing space is often a mental-health symptom. (If you recognize yourself in this problem, you do deserve better. You deserve help! You deserve a healthier mind, and a living space that doesn't stress you out. Also, unfuckyourhabitat is a godsend.)

David, meanwhile, is a type-A neat freak. At my best mental health, I have still been mellow about cleaning as I go, or even about cleaning up immediately after done cooking/crafting/etc. This does not fly at all with him, I've learned. I'm still learning this fascinating new lifestyle choice of not just waiting to tidy up 'til the end of your activity. So when we cook things together, I somewhat catch on, but mostly he's dashing around rinsing off the measuring cup and tossing it in the dishwasher immediately, and so on, while I just move right on to the next step in the recipe.

I think I have a greater point here. And that point is that balance is important, and getting things dirty is part of the process when you're fixin' to create something new. You can't go too crazy with worrying about the clean-up. Yes, those egg shells need to go into the trash right away. But you don't go wiping down the counter before you've even rolled the dough and cut out your cookies. And you don't worry about getting a storage dish before they're baked.

So why do we wait to live our lives until we've got our shit just right? Humans don't go into the tin until we're dead. And - usually - we don't get eaten.

So do your best to not let life eat you. Embrace the good-enough. Get messy. Clean up and improve where it makes sense to do so. If it takes a while to get what you want, just tweak your approach often, and keep going. Start over as often as you need to. Don't forget about the fun and the sweetness.

And for gosh sake, don't wash that spoon if you haven't made sure your girlfriend is done with it!

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