Friday Lights: Affirmations that helped me get from rock bottom into life
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| Affirmation, by Michael Coghlan |
It was, of course, a shock when he died so suddenly, at such a young age. David's grief manifested into physical pain and awful dreams. Last week was hectic and tiring enough to keep me from the gym for the whole week, and I ate a lot of feelings. I know that a profound loss never becomes OK. It becomes more possible to bear over time, and that is generally the best we can hope for. I don't have any platitudes, just love and sorrow for the family.
While we come to the other side of the past couple of weeks, and bring ourselves back to some sense of normalcy, I've gotten back to some basics. We took most of last weekend to sleep off Thursday and Friday's grueling funeral schedule, and then I engaged in some intermittent water-fasting to recover from all the rich foods. (We do show grief by showering food upon folks in this culture, don't we!) After 4 days of fasting between breakfast and dinner (I snacked on some cucumber slices on the first day - those are mostly water, though) my body is feeling better than it had in months, and I'm also re-assessing some dietary choices to help me feel and perform better. I've finally come around to the fact I probably have IBS and lactose intolerance, and I'm going to have a lot more energy and time if I put on my big-girl pants and cut out the foods that are upsetting my body.
Importantly, I've realized that I felt better when I was regularly meditating, doing yoga, and listening to positive affirmations - which can be a form of guided meditation too. Between the loss of mindfulness practices and a recent social-media binge, I have a chicken-egg scenario with regards to mental health. In any case, the affirmations help, so I wanted to share that help.
Nobody can give an external factor, like a soothing voice saying nice things in a YouTube video, all of the credit for turning their life around. However, this time last year, I was about to hit one of the 3 or so lowest points in my life - followed by the best time of my life, which I'm currently living. Throughout the lead-up and the thick of my struggles last year, I listened to these and underwent radical, painful but necessary mindset shifts.
My love life was not just a train wreck - it was an entrenched paradigm of train wrecks. My career took literally 9 years to never launch. My anxiety got so bad, after I got demoted from an awful fit at an awful workplace, that I could not work for almost 3 months and had to live on short-term disability.
Throughout, I was listening to affirmations. I would put them on once or twice during the day, and then I'd put on binaural sounds to help me sleep. It felt like I was being lazy and failing, because it took so much sleep to recover from my broken mind impacting my body. I've never been so sure, though, that in all the pain and all the uncertainty, I was exactly where I needed to be. I found hope that it would be OK. And it was!
I broke the train wreck love pattern. (And I'm writing about it for part 2 of the "Sometimes a breakthrough looks like a breakdown" series!) I finally got the offer for my dream entry-level job. It wasn't directly these affirmations - but my brain did noticeably reprogram. I stopped internalizing my relationship problems. I stopped thinking maybe I just needed to communicate my needs more clearly, or that I'd be lonely if I was alone. I stopped giving up the search for more affirming work within a few months of every new attempt. Importantly, I didn't talk myself out of applying for the job in the first place. After years of being blown off every time you shine up your resume and send it to the "perfect" fit - not even getting so much as a phone interview - you start to believe maybe this really is the best you can do. It was hard to work up the courage to reach and risk that rejection again, especially in such a time of mental-health vulnerability. This time, though, it finally worked.
Here are the helpful words that got my brain onto a healthier path. It does feel legitimately hokey and weird at first, but it really did work for me! And I would recommend it to just about anyone, whether life is pretty OK right now, or whether you feel like there's just no way anything else can go wrong.
1) 400+ Powerfully Positive Affirmations
2) 300+ Power Affirmations For Career & Professional Success
4: Affirmation Pod - OK, this is a whole series of podcasts, so it's kind of cheating. It's only because I couldn't pick just one, and they're all short - Just about 5 minutes each, give or take.
I recommend listening as often as you can - daily if possible. Do you have a favorite affirmation or guided meditation audio? Please share - I love discovering new ones!
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